So, you have discovered Paganism in all its glory. You feel like this is what you have been searching for all your life. This is the way … this is the right path for you. You’re happy … you feel a completeness, a sense of belonging that you never found in church. One small problem, though … your parents hear the word ‘witchcraft’ and freak.
So, now what? Do you turn your back on a spirituality that finally makes you feel whole, or do you keep your magick books and tools secret for as long as you can? And what’s the deal with everyone online? You aren’t a possession! Your parents don’t OWN you – you’re practically an adult, right?
So … act like it then. Adults … we compromise. Think for a moment about the practicality of sneaking around behind your parents’ backs. Do you really want to spend so much time, money and effort on all of your tools and paraphernalia just to come home and find them being barbequed in the back yard? Trust me, it can, and most likely will happen – nobody’s parents are as dumb as they think they are.
But you don’t want to turn away from your new found faith either, right? Here is where the compromising comes in.
Firstly, make sure that you start and keep an open a religious dialogue with your parents. Don’t use words that will shut the conversation down. Words like “Witchcraft”, “Wicca”, “spells”, “magick”, “occult” and especially “unfair” are guaranteed to stop any progress in its tracks (nothing turns a parent off quicker than screaming about how unfair something is).
Talk about nature, about environmentalism, the changing seasons, folklore and old superstitions – tell them that you are interested in learning about different cultures around the world and their belief systems.
When they are ready (and by ‘ready’ I mean that they have accepted that they cannot change your mind and that this isn’t just a phase – expect to wait at least two years for this point), pick up a book that explains modern Paganism to people who have loved ones involved in it. Scott Cunningham has a great one called ‘The Truth About Witchcraft Today’.
That is all well and good, you say, but they still won’t let me read any Wiccan/Pagan books and I have SO much to learn! There are actually a great many things that you will need to learn that no Wiccan/Pagan/Magick book can tell you.
- Read up on the mythologies of cultures that interest you (a connection to the divine is a LOT more important than being able to cast a spell).
- Learn about your roots and where your family comes from (a lot of people find a connection with a pantheon from a culture that is in their bloodline).
- Get some books on herbology, candle making, cooking, geology … there are many topics that relate to your spirituality that require looking outside the occult section of the bookstore.
- Learn about meditation and practice everyday (relaxation and visualization skills are essential to practicing magick).
- Take out your bible and read it. It’s an interesting book of mythology, and not really that different from any other (also, you will be better able to stand up to those rabid fundies if you know what they are talking about).
Still, you are SO excited and you want to be able to practice right away … you want to celebrate the Wheel of the Year … To this I say – get outside!
Nature is what you are celebrating … get out in it! Take your holy days as a time to reconnect with the earth. Go for a walk in the woods or in a park. Does the air feel different? How do the people on the street seem? Can they feel it too even though they may not know it? Keep a journal of your Sabbat experiences – you may want to look back on them when you are older and out on your own.
Most importantly in this situation is to SHOW your parents that you really are responsible and that you are becoming an adult. Volunteer in your community, pick up trash when you see it on the street, recycle, plant a garden. Show your parents that this controversial faith is changing you for the better. Good Luck!
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