Not Feeling It This Year

00822fkz_fluidic_iconsAll Hallows is upon us, and depending on the calendar you follow, Samhain.  As I waited through October this year, I found myself thinking more and more, “is it over yet?”

It could have to do with the fact that I just had a baby.  Or maybe that the kids are a bit too little for all the spooky, scary stuff.  Perhaps that we don’t know a lot of folks out here yet, but I find my attention has been more on the winter holidays, Yule and Christmas than on Samhain and Halloween.

Maybe I’m just more ready for rebirth than the decay and quiet that inevitably must come first.

I have been reading Teo Bishop’s blog as he explores his changing spiritual views.  It seems, at times, like a crisis of faith, and at other times it seems like a willingness to finally listen to the words his heart has been speaking all along.

His journey speaks to me.  It reminds me of where I belong.  Not among the activists and pointy hats of the neo-Pagan crowd*, but back where I began; among the green and the changing colours of nature, in the deep wild places where the fae rule.  Where the land describes the calendar.  Fall came back in early September when the icy, arctic smell returned to the morning air.  Winter is upon us now.  Cold and stark as the snow on top of unraked leaves.

Frosty Footpath - winter snow
Frosty Footpath (Photo credit: blmiers2)

We have already begun our rest.  And I am very ready for a break before we begin full-scale preparation for the celebratory season.  Very soon we will be bundling up for walks in the quiet that comes from a blanket of snow, lacing up our skates for a few spins around the ice, and touring neighbourhoods of lights.

For now, all I want is to snuggle under a warm blanket with my Littles and sip coffee and cocoa while the winter blows in and settles all around.  I think that this winter, I will take a page from one of my new favourite blogs, A Butterfly in My Hair, and keep some colour alive in the form of cut flowers – just to help remind me of the warm places in the world.

*Don’t worry, I will finish the Wheel of the Year page, I promise 🙂

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One thought on “Not Feeling It This Year”

  1. Everything has its cycle, but we aren’t always in step where others think we should be. My personal Samhain is still two weeks off. So I mark time, and yes, take all my cues from the nature around me…which IS out of step, ahead of its time this year in heading into winter. We don’t have to be in lock step, right? That is one reason we pagans aren’t herded any easier than cats!

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