Shattered

Well, maybe not shattered, but definitely startled, and a little upset. This morning, while moving some stuff to our new house, my new hawk’s eye pendulum fell off the counter and broke. The crystal broke, and the beaded section holding the hamsa at the other end broke as well.

I had already fixed the hamsa end by the time I took the pic. Still heartbreaking, tho

For the first few moments all I could do was stare. I didn’t know what to think. It wasn’t that far down, and I couldn’t believe that the whole thing had just broken.

What now? Do I replace it? Do I try to fix it? I have only had this pendulum for about two weeks, and already it was one of my favourites. And now it was just … gone.

The break was clean, I could fix it. But the question was, should I? For most of my life, I have heard that once a crystal is broken, that’s it for that job. Then it moves on to some other purpose, either given back to the earth or utilized for some other project.

It can still be used as a pendulum in it’s current … shortened state. It will still work just as well, but at the same time, I know I could fix it because the break was so clean (I am thinking it was an existing imperfection that allowed for the break).

Another issue to consider is that with both protection symbols breaking in the same moment, I cannot ignore the possibility that the fall and the break were the protection symbols doing their job. This is a new house with no protections built in as in my old house. I haven’t even had a chance to do a new house cleansing yet.

The practical side of my brain says that I am overtired, and jittery from lugging boxes, and what I really need is to chill and meditate a little. If we go the protection route, then the stone was likely protecting me from myself.

I still don’t know what I am going to do. There is an epoxy that I can buy that will fix the pendulum like new. Or I could buy a replacement crystal point. I will definitely need to meditate on it before I do anything.

Life and Time

She changes everything she touches.  Everything She touches changes.

This chant has been on my mind lately.  And the “She”, to me, is Time.

This post has been in progress for a while now.  I have been thinking about where I began on this path so many years ago, what I wanted from it, what I hoped to find in the online Pagan community, what I wanted from life in general, and how all that differs from where I find myself now.

(Photo credit: AlicePopkorn)

I think it safe to say that I have moved pretty much completely out of the “Maiden” phase of my life (if you subscribe to such a theory).  I don’t go looking to be different, to carve out my identity, to find a place and a path that is just the perfect fit.

I’ve done that.  For years I did that.  Even when I first started trying to make my own way, I was still searching.  Still hoping for someone to tell me I was doing it right.  Trying so hard to live up to some imaginary standard.  Am I eco enough, am I liberal enough, am I honourable enough, am I artistic enough, am I enough?  It gets to the point where you feel like you’re drowning.

And then, as they say, Life Happens.  Things change, and you find yourself without the time to worry about such things.  My life smashed my thumb with a hammer and brought me back to hyper focus.  I could no longer force myself to care about the things that used to occupy my mind in my youth.

I lost all interest in the things that made the Pagan Community tick.  Aside from the constant fighting and outrage over the misrepresentation of the week, the addiction to study and record keeping lost its lustre for me as well.  My sought after project, creating a big book of shadows to pass down to my children, became less and less important once my children actually arrived.

These days, I’d rather capture their smiles with my D80 while running in the sunshine or run with them, than think about herbal remedies or crystal healing.  When my baby is cutting a tooth, I reach for the gripe water – the same brand that my mom used when I was a baby.  When my little girl scrapes her knee, polysporin goes on the bandage.

There are no poultices or potions.  The only thing I still really make myself is hand lotion.  The only remedy I really use is honey for a sore throat.

Does this make me less a Witch?  Does the lack of a practise or the lack of a solid theology make me less of a Pagan?  Does it matter to me any more?

The last one I can answer: Nope.

The practises I used regularly in my youth can still be called on when needed.  I can still move energy through my body with a single breath.  I use it when I need it (and with a teething baby, trust me, it’s needed).

These days I don’t like to think in terms of differences.  I like seeing how many “New Age” practises have been accepted into the mainstream, and just are generally accepted parts of life.  I like thinking about people as fundamentally the same.  We all think, we all feel, we all need.

La luce calda del tramonto (The warm light of sunset) “Earth Day” (Photo credit: fabry … )

So where does that leave us?  This blog has evolved slowly over the years, and will probably continue to do so.  I have been thinking about what it would take to finish the Wheel of the Year page.  And whether I should keep it as a reference.  Beltane is coming up.  Hopefully, we will be done with snow by then.  We’ll see.  I have a new book I’m reading for an Animist Book Club dealie.  Keep ’em peeled for a post on that.

I may or may not post more on FB.  I am tending to prefer IG for my social media right now.  Now that it is starting to get sunny and warm, I will have more to post.  I’m also going to start-up the 52 Weeks of Calgary BP again.  Stay tuned.

Those Things That Make Up Stuff

I may have under estimated how much of my time would be taken up by trying to pack up house and move with two littles running around.  I haven’t managed to get out with my camera in a while.  But blog projects are flexible, right?  That the point of the whole ‘Blogging Without Obligation’ deal anyway.

It has come to the time of year that I am getting it in my head to write a few thinkie posts.  First up will be a look at where I am in the spectrum of ‘Paganism’ again.  I have pretty well completely withdrawn from the online community … it stopped actually feeling like a community some time ago.  One thing that I have noticed is that rudimentary Paganisms seem to have been absorbed by the homesteading/handiworks communities, which I think is awesome.

I love that concepts like living with gratitude, appreciating the moment, meditation, and a wholistic point of view are no longer things that scream “Pagan”.  It’s just something people do.  I guess if I had to think of a hope for modern Paganism, it would be that it stop being a thing that people noticed as different.  I believe that is slowly happening.  It makes me smile.

Here. Have a Flower.

BOTW: A Wise Woman’s Guide

I found this book in my local library back in about 2006 or so, and since I only read it once, there isn’t a whole lot that I remember about it.  What I do remember, I’ll post here, but as it is an older volume, I would recommend checking your library for it as I doubt you’d be able to find it in a brick and mortar book store.

I remember liking this book pretty well.  It is a compilation that dates back to before the myth of ancient goddess religions fell out of favour, and there was a lot of what we now know is revisionist history in it.  That said, it wasn’t so blatantly anti-male that it was unreadable for a more moderate feminist, such as myself.

Validity and Religious Pluralism

Spiritual/religious validity are topics that never go out of style within the Pagan community.  We can talk about them until the blue-faced cows come home.  And no matter how often or how many times we go over the same topic, it never fails to end in ruffled feathers and out-of-joint noses.

Our national and international news sources tell us of the great strides being made at various interfaith conferences.  Pagans are being taken more and more seriously as a player on the world religion scene.  Our rights to publicly display our faiths on equal footing with The Big Three™ are being recognized with more frequency by various governmental agencies.

These are all very encouraging steps forward into a new age of religious pluralism.  And yet, one only needs to look as far as a few Pagan blogs or discussion forums to get the feeling that the last dozen years or so have been an exercise in futility.

Under

Under is one of my little one’s favourite words at the moment.  When thinking of topics for the letter ‘U’ for the PBP, all I could think of was her little voice chanting “Unda!  Unda!”

When we’re small, under is pretty cool.  We play Hide-and-Seek, trying to squeeze ourselves into the smallest places we can find.  Later on, we build forts with blanket ceilings and tree houses under a canopy of green.

These small under places are our own.  Our first understanding of separate and private space are in these little caves and duns.

BOTW: To Stir a Magick Cauldron

To Stir a Magick Cauldron, originally printed in 1995.  This book, along with the rest of the Next Generation Witchcraft series, is always going to be controversial as it has been revised and edited and reprinted dozens of times.

It seems that as Ravenwolf grows and changes, her books do as well.  Rather than being a record of her teachings of the time, they evolve and all of the ranty crankiness that earned her a reputation of dangerous fluffiness is washed away as if it never was.  Personally, that alone is a reason to avoid learning from this person.

You want your Craft instructor to have a strong ethical character – to embody the ideals they mean to teach you.  If they are unwilling or unable to stand by what they have said in print in the past, then that should tell you something very important right there.

That said, this is a book review, not an author review.

44 Weeks of Witchery: Part II

We’ve made it through the first 11 weeks, yay!  This little blog project is brought to you by Mom’s a Witch.  Be sure to pop over and have a look at her answers to these questions and more.

If you want to play along, I say go for it!  Just make sure that you drop a link here so that I can see your answers too!

Now, we move on to the second part, questions 12 – 22.  Behold: